I do. Do you?

I still wonder if it would be okay if I Venmo’d that 63 dollars I owe you from stopping my car from getting towed. At least we enjoyed Wreck It Ralph 2 afterwards, right?

I still wonder if you decided to throw out your bed, rather than give it to me.

I still wonder if it’s okay to give you the Christmas present I made you. I didn’t buy one. It’s a five page letter about me telling you my favorite memories of us together, and exactly what went through my mind during those times. It told you I loved you. It told you I was falling in love with you.

I still wonder if you know that I check my car windshield everyday, to see if you returned the things I gave to you. You know. My garage opener, my sweatshirts, my heart.

I still wonder if you think of me. If you think about the stupid fun nights we had. I still wonder if you remember me puking the first time you took me on a hike. I still wonder if you remember that you said I love you first. I still wonder if you remember that you pushed in to kiss me first. I still wonder if you remember the night where you were half asleep, and we were cuddling. You woke me up just to tell me you loved me. Then you kissed me, and slumped back down to sleep…

I remember. I remember the countless nights waiting up for you to call me, text me, show you were alive. I remember when you started acting weird the night of my roommate’s going away party. You said you were going to come, but then you didn’t. I remember that you were also going to your party for work. I remember how you said you lyfted to your friend’s house and have no idea how you got there. I remember you didn’t say I love you before you hung up. I remember you kept apologizing over every thing. I remember you stopped talking to me. For almost two weeks. I remember you said you would call me Christmas night. I remember you didn’t. I remember a lot of great nights with you.

I know I still love you, even if I shouldn’t. I know you still love me, even if you shouldn’t. I know you still look at all of my social media posts, even though you “are almost never on social media”. I know this isn’t how should treat one of your, “only friends”. I know I would take you back if you asked me. I know a part of me always will belong to you. I know that I said that in my letter. I know I’ll never get over you completely. I know that no matter what, I’d leave every door unlocked if you said you might come over. I know I miss you Katherine. I miss you

I do. Do you?